a heart at peace

I prayed for peace.

I did not ask for solutions, or strategies, or understanding, or good reasons.

I prayed for peace.

Because if my heart is not at peace, I will not listen.

God could tell me a gentle word, and I would shy away from His kindness.

God could tell me a rebuke, and I would cower in my unworthiness.

God could open a door, and I would reason why it is not mine to walk through.

God could close a door, and I would pry it open.

So I did not ask for a word, or an opportunity, or a confirmation.

I prayed for peace.

And with all the uncertainties in life, and the uncertainties of His plans and actions, 

there is one thing I have found certain:

that when I ask for peace, He gives it, 

and He gives it swiftly, He gives it willingly, He gives it lovingly.

He has given me peace.

**

But then, after He had given me peace,
some of the unthinkable situations happened.  

Encircling me were droves of situations that were out of my control,
situations that were results of my mistakes,
situations that could easily deceive my swollen heart.

He has given me peace.

I reminded myself of this truth.

This did not mean that I responded with shrugs, with a matter-of-factly grin, with insensitivity.  

No; for sorrow still visited me.  Joy still accompanied me.  Zealotry still devoured me.
Love had laid hold of me.

And He has given me peace.

When sorrow befell me, my peace was in trusting His intentions.

When joy overtook me, my peace was in sharing His pleasure.

When zealotry propelled me, my peace was in His victory.

When Love had laid hold of me, I laid hold of it, and my peace was in His unity.

Yet throughout, I had to remind myself:

Peace is possible.

He has given me peace.

**

And now, with a soul that is rested, a mind reposed, it suddenly came upon my spirit.  God told me: now is the time to ask.

Oh the repercussions of a heart at peace that asks of God, what will You have me do?

I suspect He will take advantage of this.

And I must ready myself for a great shift.

The LORD will fight for you; you need only to be still.
- Exodus 14.14

xo

currently listening: "Pledge" by Misty Edwards, Immersed

currently reading: The Sympathy of Christ, Octavius Winslow