Wednesday, June 1, 2011

making choices

[a little peek into my life.  where the previous post came from.]

i vent a lot to God, restlessly waiting for an answer to a universal question, what am i doing with my life.  suddenly motivated to do something -anything- i had planned on leaving my job within the next few months.  well truthfully, i've toyed with the idea of leaving my job for two years already.  and then what happened: in the past three weeks, i've lost my job while i was away, rested and regained solace for two weeks while jobless, got a week-long substitute job, then in a time frame of two days, received six different job offers i haven't applied for.
wow, God.
In my distress, I called to the LORD; I called to my God.  From His temple, He heard my voice; my cry came to His ears.
- II Samuel 22.7
it's as though i have been pounding on the door of heaven with love, tears, and screams, hearing nothing but my pleas bouncing off the walls of a hollow room; and i will never say that God wasn't listening, because i know He has listened to every word that I have uttered, pondered, and harbored.  for all i know, He wanted me in that job longer than I planned, but out of it sooner than I planned.

six job offers?  really?  i asked God to speak, and oh, He is speaking!  now, the predicament at hand is no longer begging Him to talk, it is distinguishing His voice.
the sheep listen to the voice of [the Shepherd].  He calls His own sheep by name and leads them out... He goes ahead of them and His sheep follow Him because they know His voice.  But they will never follow a stranger; in fact, they will run away from him because they do not recognize a stranger's voice...
- John 10.3-5
here's the funny thing about choices:
maybe only one is the voice of God, and the rest are deceptions from the enemy.
maybe they're all God's voice and one is a shortcut to my destiny, one is a much longer and difficult tread.
or maybe they'll all take the same time, and the decision I am now making is not actually "what job i should take," but rather, "what fruit do i want to produce."

different climates produce different fruit.  different obstacles produce different values.

as in...
you want patience?
choose job #3 because the conflicting personalities you'll work with will get on your nerves.
you want more joy?
choose job #2 because the tragedies you'll encounter will weigh like sorrow on your soul.
you want more peace?
definitely #5 because your chaotic bosses will be like whirlwinds in your organized mind.


either which way i go, it's like i wrote on the previous post:
you can step out of the will of God, but you can never step out of His promises.
therefore, i feel a peace about the path i am about to take... granted, i am seeking His face to avoid making the wrong choice, but i know whichever path it is, i will find myself carried in grace and growing deeper in trust and faith.


currently reading: Ezekiel and Revelation
currently listening: The Ron Artis Family Band, Don't Worry, We'll Make It