Tuesday, September 1, 2009

perfect timing.

Recently, while driving amidst bustling traffic, my car died. In fact, it happened in the middle of the intersection. The only thing I knew to do (besides pray), was to put it into neutral and scoot myself inside the car, till it rolled to the nearest curb. What a sight.

When I got home, my mom so "kindly" pointed out that if I'm under an attack, it's never just one area of my life, it's usually everything, with massive, memorable blows: health that deteriorates, finances that disappear, emotions that explode, friendships that sever, work that demands, rumors that slander, death that steals. She's mom. She's right. And it's a pretty crappy state of being.

As my cousins looked at my car, the problem was found out; ironically, in the summer of 2007, while driving the trusty old Nova (aka Little Jimmy), it died for the same reason, in the middle of unhappy afternoon traffic.

It was the timing. (That is to say, the timing belt).

God is pretty funny. I mean, why did the Nova break down on the freeway, during rush hour? Or why did the Civic break down in the middle of an intersection, on my way to a prayer meeting of all things? It's so inconvenient! And the cars broke down because of bad timing, during times when my life was in a season of internal breakdown...

I think it's God's big flashy billboard.

And I heard Him tell me:
If you are not in alignment with God's timing, you're going to break down.
There are tons of things that we can do the further the Kingdom of God, but sometimes (and for me, quite often), it's easy to slip into a performance mode, wanting to do it ALL. But there's a specific time and place for everything. After all, the more I keep "doing," and not paying attention to His timing, His direction, or His will, everything starts to dismantle.

As I sat there on the curbside watching my cousins tweak and test wires and gadgets, I realized that internally, I was running fast and going nowhere. And I needed to get my life straight, else I'd end up like these cars, breaking down in front of everyone, causing havoc and frustration.

I'm putting life on pause for a while. Go ahead and let the other cars pass me by, I'm not in a rush. I want to be sure that everything in me is in order, that I'm in alignment with God's timing, that I'm in the center of His will.

(this is that Nova... the day it ceased to function)



Reading: Stardust, Neil Gaiman
Listening: all Copeland tracks on shuffle
Watching: Bedtime Stories

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