knowing.

one day, i vented to the LORD and complained of a situation in which i gave and gave, and got nothing in return - He smiled with such gentleness, and told me, "now you know how I feel."

and then i saw that i had not been giving Him my everything.
but He is a gracious God, and He still gives and gives, whether or not i give Him anything in return. it convicts and moves me, to love Him, not out of guilt, but out of desire.


never have we been promised:
"love and you will be loved"
"love and you shall receive"
"love and you will be happy"
"love and you shall be satisfied,"

it will be a while, but soon enough, we'll realize in the core of our souls, that love never promises anything except that we will feel. for as often as we love, so often we hurt. and as often as we give, so often we lose. but even amidst loss and sacrifice and pain, we love because we choose, we love because we are compelled. and as often as we are compelled, so often we know joy. and as often as we purpose, so often we have peace.

but most of all, as often as we encounter Love, so often we encounter God.
and as often as we encounter God, so often we feel loved.



xo


reading: a lot of RSS feeds.
listening: "I Have to Believe," Rita Springer (except for "Those Were the Days." for some reason i always skip it)
watching: "Don't Eat the Daisies"

Bleeding

God's relationship with us and with our world is just that: a relationship. As with every relationship, there's a certain amount of unpredictability, and the ever-present likelihood that you'll get hurt.

The hurt may prove the existence of emotion and sensitivity, but does it really validate the existence of Love?

The ultimate risk anyone ever takes is to love, for as C. S. Lewis says, "Love anything and your heart will be wrung and possibly broken. If you want to make sure of keeping it intact you must give it to no one, not even an animal." But God does give it, again and again, until He is literally bleeding from it all.

One question:

Have I bled yet?




xo


Excerpts from Wild at Heart by John Eldredge