Wednesday, December 31, 2008

2008: Over and Out!

A few more hours until the back cover closes this crazy novel.
What a terrain this year had! I feel like the first 6 months were an influx of the Holy Spirit over my life, and the last 6 months was the infestation of pests to distract me from everything originally spoken. Ultimately, it's a sift of what is temporal, what is eternal, and whether I have the discernment to keep or discard.

I can say this much: I've found greater facets of the heart of God.

And you can't love without getting hurt. God never disappoints us, but the sacrifices, the stripping of flesh, the death to self, the stepping out of His love - frankly, it hurts. So that's what this year was full of: loving God and feeling the pain of sacrifice and the repercussions of mistakes.

Here are my resolutions... for the rest of my life:
  • I will love, honor, and respect Him first.
  • I will not live in regret. I will look at my mistakes, look at the right thing to do, and praise God for giving me the ability to do the right thing next time. I will praise Him because He does not condemn me, and therefore:
  • I will not live in self-condemnation. OR self-pity. I will not apologize for the call of God over my life, or for the way that He has made me. What HE says counts! What others say, what others think, what I think others think, DOES NOT COUNT. And yet,
  • I will not place security in what I know. I will not live in pride or false pride. I will learn what true humility is, and I will not rely on knowledge.
  • I will keep my spirit open. I do not, and will not, know everything there is to know about God. I do not want to be offended when I realize Truth.
  • I will say what He speaks, do what He would do, go where He goes.
  • I will love, forgive, and extend grace. I have been a fool too, and will forever be in need of a Savior. It is never my place to cast the first, second, last, or any stone. God is the only Judge, but He still imparts the spirit of discernment, and I cannot deny Him the revelations He wants to give me.
  • I will be a woman of my word.
  • I will exercise self-control. I will seek the Spirit for boundary lines - what I need to partake, abstain, or take in moderation.
  • I will not settle for anything less than God's best. No more compromises. I cannot sacrifice my identity, my standards, or my God-given desires on behalf of someone or something that would only satisfy or fill me temporarily.
  • I will seek affirmation from Christ. I cannot rely on people to affirm my God-given identity, and yet, I will not diminish the words that God speaks through them. God has given me a life with the fullness of Him, and to 'weaken' or deny their words is an expression of ungratefulness.
  • I will live what I believe. Talk is cheap.
What did I really learn this year?
I learned that the love of God, and His words, will always supercede what everyone else says. And yet, I cannot let go of the fellowship I have with people. I need them, and I need to also recognize that I have a place in this body too. I cannot isolate myself, and I cannot idolize people.

I need balance.

I am looking forward to 2009. I want to close the wounds and start fresh. God has planted dreams and visions in my heart, and I am expecting a turnaround!


1 comment :

  1. how i adore your words. you have truly grown my dear, and will continue! you will forever be in my prayers. iOu forever =D