O Broken Man

O the Broken Man on the Cross,
You have offended our minds to reveal our hearts

So we have crucified You,
that we may no longer be confronted by our great sin of fear;
to resume our idolatry - worshiping our doctrines, traditions, and self-attained holiness
to remain unchanged

So we have disowned You,like a faithful member of our gullible, pliable society
like everyone else who seeks entertainment, not conviction
as if You are a passing trend (like WWJD bracelets)

Broken Man, how can You tell us to eat Your flesh and drink Your blood?
How can You use the unclean spit to clean a man's blindness?
Why did You not fight for John the Baptist's freedom from prison?
What if we would rather sing the dirge than do a dance?

Broken Man on the Cross,
You gave Your mother away.
You say a thief will enter Paradise.
You ask forgiveness on our behalf from G-d Himself (and we did not ask for it)

This Authority!
Who ordained You? Where did You get Your license? Show us Your credentials!
(Where's that Pastor ID Card....)

We don't like You.



So die.



And now, Broken Man, as You are on the Cross,
Is this so much what our hearts have desired?

Broken Man, we have heard it said one way, and You say another.
We say retribution, You say absolution.
We say regulations, You say invitations.
We say sow and reap, You say favor.

We say half, You say whole.
We say a lot of lies.
You say a lot of Truth.
And it has offended our minds, but revealed our hearts.


For we say death, but You say Life.


O Broken Man,
You ruined every funeral,
You will surely ruin Your own.




xo

Listening: Upstairs by Shane & Shane
Reading: A Severe Mercy by Sheldon Vanauken

Journey

It's very much like God, to ask us to do things we don't feel like doing. And it's even worse when He doesn't tell us what the point is, what's the ultimate ending purpose or reason.

Which... becomes a situation in itself. We like incentive from God. We like incentive from anybody. We like giving if it involves - receiving. Some of this mentality has been perpetuated by the independence of our age, that has taught us about "sowing and reaping." We learned that we earn what we have worked for, and therefore, work to earn. It's a cycle that has its place, but which we have unfortunately abused and sprinkled with selfishness.

So, in the moments God asks us to specific tasks, the question "Why" tends to be loaded. Sour cream, chives, cheese, the whole bit. Throw in some doubt, speculation, and expectation of reward. (Although, I'm definitely not saying it's not wrong to question God - He is never intimidated by our inquiries. It's about the state of your heart; the underlying tone of your voice.)

In the end, God is looking for obedience. It's not so much where you end up, but what you have learned on the journey. It goes back to the whole concept of being faithful with the little things.

God says, "Go for a run." And I feel lazy.
But maybe He wants me to understand endurance and exercise, that one day I'll understand enduring a spiritual fight, or exercising my spiritual gifts. Or maybe He wants me to one day run a marathon for a good cause.

God says, "Sketch for 15 minutes today." And I don't see eye-catching inspiration.
But maybe He wants me to notice the simple things, to realize God is omnipresent, and He is in the simple things. Or maybe He'd like me to paint a masterpiece with my newly acquired skills.

God says, "Sweep the kitchen floor." And it looks sorta clean to me.
But maybe He wants me to understand cleanliness, that by cleaning up a seemingly 'small sin' prevents having to sweep up a great mess. Or maybe I'll have a surprise visit; company to chat in my kitchen over cookies and tea.

And the one I've been feeling for the past six weeks:
God says, "Apply for this job." And I don't really want the job. Even if the benefits (and my capacity for positive influence) are great. But maybe all He was looking for was obedience in its purest form - obedience to do something challenging, something soul-searching, something that eventually made me search for my true calling. It was a simple obedience that made me ask myself, "What am I really passionate about? Where should I be? What is my destiny?" Although it's much easier to ask God "Why" or "What's in it for me? Will You secure the job for me?"

My goal should not be to seek a reward, but to simply worship - to obey because I love Him, and I trust Him, and because I know He only has good thoughts toward me. I may not understand His reasons, or have a full grasp on what my life will be in one year or ten, but I do know this - that He has called me to be faithful and obedient. And the blessings and favor will naturally follow.

By faith Abraham, when called to go to a place he would later receive as his inheritance, obeyed and went, even though he did not know where he was going.
-Hebrews 11:8

xo


Listening: "Your Love Never Fails" - JesusCulture (Kim Walker, Chris Quilala, Melissa How)
Reading: A lot of articles on poverty and education

Bleeding

God's relationship with us and with our world is just that: a relationship. As with every relationship, there's a certain amount of unpredictability, and the ever-present likelihood that you'll get hurt.

The hurt may prove the existence of emotion and sensitivity, but does it really validate the existence of Love?

The ultimate risk anyone ever takes is to love, for as C. S. Lewis says, "Love anything and your heart will be wrung and possibly broken. If you want to make sure of keeping it intact you must give it to no one, not even an animal." But God does give it, again and again, until He is literally bleeding from it all.

One question:

Have I bled yet?




xo


Excerpts from Wild at Heart by John Eldredge