Tuesday, April 30, 2013

words from acquaintances

An acquaintance told me recently to be careful, else I'll burn out.  Smart words from an acquaintance.
A part of me wanted to say a favorite quote:

It's easy to judge those you have no investment in.

True statement by itself- and yet, I could not freely respond with that.  If I said it, it would've been motivated as a defense mechanism.
What this person said was right and wise.
What this person does not know, however, is that the surplus of activities and doings and beings have been stemming from a recent need to be distracted.  I do realize that I will exasperate myself and eventually collide with truth, but for the time being, I don't want to contemplate the circumstances at hand.  So I've busied myself in hopes that by day's end, I will be too tired to think.
On the contrary.
At the end of the day, I follow myself home, and I cannot sleep because my thoughts are with me.
So each Tomorrow begins with a tired mind, a sleepless body, but a hopeful heart and an unfazed ambition.
And I've yet to confront myself.

I cross paths with this acquaintance more frequently, and each time I do, it makes me sad.  This person, in my mind, has officially become the post-it note, the string around my finger, the temporary sharpie tattoo on the back of my hand.  I don't think this person was judging me, I think this person was making an observational and true statement, and the honesty has made me so aware of the pressing need for me not to ignore my heart.

I'll get there, slowly.  And as I work my way there, I sing in the car, sing as I bake.  It soothes me.  It's a distraction that pacifies me.  I'm building the confidence to deal with these situations, and also depending on the Spirit to administer His peace and joy.  I am a lot less sure about the course of my life, but I am more sure that God is trying to get my attention by means of strangers.  I need to be a better listener.

Do not merely listen to the word, and so deceive yourselves.  Do what it says.
- James 1.22

Anyway, this post which uses my current life as an example can serve to teach a few things:
- to invest in people so you know how best to pray for them, or
- to speak in wisdom and honesty because you never know how you can impact people for the better, or
- to not spend your energy trying to escape from your circumstances.  Better to face them head on with the faith and confidence that God promises His nearness and His strength.  He also promises us rather kindly that He will go before us and fight our battles (with plans of winning), or
- to listen carefully, and be obedient, or
- all the above.

The LORD will fight for you; you need only to be still.
- Exodus 14.14


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