The Things We See

I can't help but feel so excited for this new year! Mostly because 08 is OVER! Not that I'm in regret over anything last year, but I recognize that the costly mistakes I made can only launch me to higher levels - that is, IF I manage to prove recovery by NOT repeating those mistakes. At the same time, while those mistakes are all trash, I am aiming at keeping (and passing on!) the blessings I've received, whether it be an act of love or grace, a lesson of patience and forgiveness, or an extension of friendship.

And now, I stand at the base of a new mountain.

Robert McAfee Brown said, "Where you stand determines what you see." Instantly, my mind paints a picture of the view from a mountaintop. And yet, the play on words "where you stand" can take us to what I really want to address, that it isn't just what you see, it's how you see it. Where you stand on an issue determines what you choose to see. It's true, we don't see with our eyes, we see with our mind. We see based on our knowledge, based on our upbringing, based on our biases and convictions.

Think of this example: I love the song "No Woman, No Cry." Reggae runs through the veins of people here. However, at the sound of it, a friend of mine instantly connects that song as being played at the funeral of a high-school friend.

Same song. Different definitions. It's all about perception.

When you look at your life, what do you see?
Personally (eeeh.. as personal as a blog can be...), for a long time, I hated my life. And it's honestly easy to slip into that mindset! Currently, I don't resent my life, but it's not very hard to get pessimistic - or even to start questioning why I'm here! I got this from James Goll: sometimes, when God gives you a dream or a goal that you have to take in faith, initially it seems exciting, then when things aren't going smoothly, the enemy likes to take you on this downward spiral -

1. Discouragement. You start questioning God why things happened the way they did, and why He brought you to this place at all.
2. Disillusionment. You start to wonder, 'Was that really God, or was that just me thinking that I'm supposed to be doing this?'
3. Disinterest. You don't see immediate results and therefore, you stop caring.

Is it impossible to get out of this spiral? No. Is it easy to slip into it? Yes. But do you not see the nature of the enemy? 'Did God really say you can't eat that fruit?' He makes you question God's Words! In the same way, God places dreams and visions in our view, then the dumb devil makes us think, 'Can this really be from God?' The scary thing is, once we start believing it, we can be at the mountaintop, and instead of saying, 'What a gorgeous view!' we'll be chanting, 'Oh my gee, I am gonna effin fall off this cliff and DIE.' I'm telling you. It's all about perception.

If you hold to My teachings, you are really my disciples. Then you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free!
-John 8.31-32

Although we are familiar with 'truth' referring to the Word, a deeper look will reveal that the word 'truth' means 'reality!' Isn't that beautiful?

Then you will know what is real - you will know what reality is! And it will free you!

Too often we are caught in a state of disarray. Whatever you want to call it - discouragement, disillusionment, depression, confusion, apathy - only because we don't know what's real! I am not discrediting the real emotions people have, and saying that people aren't allowed to experience pain; God Himself wept over His chosen ones! Yes, the world looks like it's deteriorating. It's scattered all over the Bible that that's how the world will be in the last days.

BUT - I choose to sing a Love song, not a funeral dirge.

God wants to make reality known to us! We've been trapped by the media and old wives tales and superstitions, but there's such a freedom to be had! I want to have a vision from God for this year - AND see it the way He sees it. I want to be able to approach life by saying the things He would say, doing the things He does, and going where He would go.

It's 2009! What song are you singing?




xo



Reading: Dream Language, James & Michal Goll
Listening to: Le Pas du Chat Noir, Anouar Brahem
Watching: Fight Club

Briers, Malunggay, and Waiting for Babies

In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was God.
-John 1.1

Heaven and earth will pass away, but my words will never pass away.
-Matthew 24.35

Has God given you a promise, a vision, a dream, or a goal? Has He simply left you with the impression that He will do something new? Has He not told you what it will look like? Has He left out a lot of the details?

[monotonously gives a 'yes' to each TV-infomercial-like question]
[and seriously, if you didn't say yes to any of the above..... we need to talk.]

Anything the LORD promises, regardless of the time it takes on human terms, will come to pass. That is an unwavering truth.

And yet, there are those situations they don't come to pass - and it's not because God is a liar. In some cases, a prophetic word could be wrong (which then reveals the importance of checking up with God instead of assimilating everything the wo/man of God says). In other cases, we may have confined the promise to the English definitions of the English words we hear. Let me illustrate: say you've latched onto a particular interest, and you feel God began to release strategies to further this interest. But in time, you begin to find that you don't have the same passion for that dream, and that your heart desires something else. Isn't it easy, at that point, to wonder, "Did I really hear the voice of God telling me to step into this?" And we go into a frenzy, adjusting our rabbit-ear antennas, assuming the reception must have been way off.

But in truth, it's nothing more than an invitation to know more of His heart. So you have a different dream now? At least you were faithful with what He gave you in that season! So that word didn't come to pass? At least you have a marking point, a discernment, of what His voice does and does not sound like!

At least, you learn to trust. You learn what it's like to depend on One you cannot see. You learn to be obedient to His rhema word. It's about practicing the presence of God - testing Him, trying Him, knowing Him, loving Him, and definitely listening to Him. Continuously. At least, you keep yourself in a position to expect God to move according to His word. And He honors that.



As a person who doesn't garden as often as my parents, I can honestly say that it's definitely not a skill of mine to look at any seed and instantly identify what kind of plant it will turn out to be. And my knowledge is still very limited, seeing a tree and knowing what type it is.

Usually, I just wait for the fruit.


I've mentioned how 09 has been prophesied to be the year of the womb. And there are a great number of people who feel the confirmation in their spirits that truly, God is going to birth something absolutely tremendous. And yet, so few of us have an idea of what it's going to be, what it will look like, how is it all going to happen... Some of us still wonder if anything's even there.

Basically, we're just waiting for the fruit.

Oh sure, there are those trees which I can name because of familiarity with their shape or leaves, like the clustered, overbearing mango tree with its seasonal red leaves, or the skinny heights of the malunggay tree. In the same way, sometimes we have a general idea of what God will do based on the tested, tried, and true signs that He gives us. Key word: sometimes. In the end, the tree will be defined by its fruit.

No good tree bears bad fruit, nor does a bad tree bear good fruit. Each tree is recognized by its own fruit. People do not pick figs from thornbushes, or grapes from briers. The good man brings good things out of the good stored up in his heart, and the evil man brings evil things out of the evil stored up in his heart. For out of the overflow of his heart, his mouth speaks.
-Luke 6.43-45

I really feel that even though we have no idea what this 'fruit' will be, we can hang onto the confidence that 'storing goodness in our hearts' is like water for the seed. It's not a time to spoil the fruit by harboring any 'evil' in our hearts - not bitterness, not laziness, not impatience, not complacency, not arrogance, not surrender!

A word was spoken over me in August:

Even though you cannot see the fruit, don't uproot just yet.

Just because we aren't seeing results, it doesn't mean nothing is happening beneath the surface. Just because you cannot see the fruit, it doesn't mean God is not at work. Just because we are experiencing the 'birthing pains,' it's not a time to abort the baby!

In due time it will come forth - and we should not worry what it will look like. For if it is from God, if it is bred from the pure intimacy that came from a covenant relationship with Him, then you can be assured that it will be a legitimate child, bearing the image of God, having the authority of the Kingdom, and carrying His holy name!

And surely, all of Heaven rejoices!



xo

Planning by Faith

The plans of the heart belong to man, but the answer of the tongue is from the LORD. All the ways of a man are clean in his own sight, but the LORD weighs the motives. Commit your works to the LORD and your plans will be established. The LORD has made everything for its own purpose...
Proverbs 16.1-4

I am futuristic. And like "overthinking," it can be either a booster or a dragger. I would question myself: am I losing "faith" by planning so much? Isn't God Himself a planner (Jer 29.11)? Is there a line between planning and faith?

No.. in fact, I think the answer lies in Planning BY Faith. If you are not an overt planner like myself, that sounds like common sense. If you are like me, planning by faith sounds like an oxymoron.

Faith will forever be an issue, as long as we are non-omniscient, as long as we are human. It takes a lot of endurance just to hope for what we can't even see, to anticipate the unknown, to wait patiently for Someone we've only caught so little of.

So, how do we "planners" learn to exercise this God-given gift, and plan by faith?

First, seek His heart. This is an opportunity for intimacy - to know His heart and His intentions. It's different to say "Do whatever You want," and ask, "God, what do You want me to do?" While both statements are valid, the first statement infers that you are a guest uninvolved in the Master's affairs; the second one says I belong in this House You have made for me, and I want to know what You have built. The Psalmist says, "The LORD confides in those who fear Him" (Psalm 25.14). This is your opportunity to seek out what His plan, and then make it Yours.

Secondly, seek wisdom. A wise man not only knows and understands a situation, but possesses the proper pro-active, reactive, or inactive response. We walk by faith and not by sight. But if our means of "closing our eyes" equals an arrogance that has stuck our noses so high in the sky, we'll fall into pits. Seeking wisdom recognizes that as a planner, you depend on the ultimate Counselor to teach you all things (John 14.26).

Thirdly, seek peace and pursue it (Psalm 34.14). To plan by faith means to plan in Sabbath mode, knowing that His peace is a manifestation of His glory. Faith means that we do not doubt His voice, and trust that "in Him we live, move, and have our being." Although we cannot see all the pieces fitting perfectly, we can still walk forward in faith - knowing (not doubting) that He guides our steps, and makes them firm. Worrying is an indication that you've stepped off of faith (Faith and worry cannot co-exist).

In essence, planning by faith means that every step of the planning process, you are trusting God to reveal His heart, guide your steps, and protect you with peace. Planning by faith shows God that you are a good steward of the time and resources He has given you, and yet, it is the recognition that all things are subject to change - and it's okay.

God ultimately has His way, but He never messes with our will, and it all comes back to who we trust more - Him, or ourselves. And to trust Him means to plan by faith.

You will make known to me the path of life; in Your presence is fullness of joy; in Your right hand there are pleasures forever.
Psalm 16.11

xo

 ----

The unimportant Backstory.
I'm planning again, and it's a fight against my mind not to step into the realm of worry or doubt. I ask myself: should I have been in the educational or medical field? Some have told me that art is so self-indulging, and the only way to make it 'useful' is through education or therapy. I can't help but wonder, have I been wrong about my career choices? Maybe these choices are stepping stones, to teach me character traits, and perhaps, will lead me to my "true calling."

So now I'm back at the place asking God what really matters to Him, and finding the passions that He designed me with. Because if it means I must step my feet back into school for it, at least I can say I am doing it for His purposes.

And if God so purposed that I return to university, but I stopped myself because of money, well, then I've made money an idol. I'd rather step into His will, empowered by grace and faith (and knowing that He is fighting for me). But when 'planning' gets the best of me, I stay 'safe' - I compute the loan-repayment output with numbers I can see, and take the controls away from God. We know that equals disaster.

Dear God- teach me how to plan by faith.

Amen.